aura-chic's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- oh damn this sucks... you know i have officially quit smoking now..but there is problem..well one i am a woman, and that used to be my crutch from killing everyone in sight during that "time"... ugh.. well anyway not to mention that as my lungs re-develop some strength and are sort of functioning like they should, i keep feeling that urge to smoke.. it's like.. i know better, and i end up with the good side (lungs) bad side (rest of me) fighting.. my lungs are begging me not to.. so far they have won out. i need some kind of nicotene substitute.. typing lame ass entries just doens't help.. i mean yeah it keeps my hands busy, but it's not helping.. and i'm just boring y'all anyway.. dammit.. oh well.. i mean we are talking about me here, i'm the girl that, back in the day, would get up out of bed basically still asleep and smoke a few and then go right back to sleep.. the worst part of that was breaking that habit when i lived with my ex because there were only 2 out of the 4 of us that smoked so we did it outside.. it really sucks when you wake up outside on the back porch in nothing but a thong in the middle of winter with a cigarette in your hand.. sad huh? of course we were all drunk all the time so it was funny.. not humiliating as it should have been. oh well.. i guess i should give up on this.. maybe if i just hold one and not light it i will be alright.. lol.. ok nite all! 12:12 a.m. - 2003-04-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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