aura-chic's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- when exactly did i enter hell? I'm having another one of those days.. actually it seems like that's all i've been having lately. so maybe when i have a good day i should call it "one of those days" that would seem more appropriate. because at this point it seems like the rest of my life is gonna be full of days where nothing goes the way i want it to, or even where i can't get a damn thing right. i was a completely normal person, ok usage of the word normal should be taken lightly.. haha, right up until oh maybe 12. then things seemed to go downhill. or maybe it has to do with the fact that i made a bunch of bad decisions around the age of 18.. that probably has a lot to do with the fact that my life resembles a made for tv movie. not even a good one. one of those space filler movies.. the ones that no one can stand to watch for more than oh 2 seconds.. bad acting, and a horrible script.. not to mention the props actually look like cardboard cut outs. ok so i'm getting sidetracked. It's just that my job sucks, i can't seem to find my "happy place" anymore.. you know that mindset that you put yourself in and nothing can bother you.. i used to have that one down. so maybe i should just turn it into "i'm pissed off so don't talk to me place" and then it would just seem like i'm doing it on purpose. yeah that's the ticket.. i mean what the hell happened to me.. and look at me bitchin.. see, i didn't bitch like this before.. all i cared about was surviving my 15 hour day and going home to drink/collapse.. hell if i could do that then i was fine... but noooooooo this job here has to wind me up to the point where i'm ready to spit nails. it must have something to do with the fact that the majority of the people that come into that restaurant are a. stupid, b. ugly, c. too good for anyone else, or d. all of the above. i lucked up today i managed to have mostly alright people.. except for that one couple.. the uppity bitch orders sweet tea, and then when i bring it says um you must be mistaken, i wanted water. i was like, um, you must be mistaken because you said sweet tea, i'm not a mind reader, but if it's water you want, i will bring it to you, so please refrain from speakin to me like i'm an invalid. at that point i had lost my cool.. and i really did say that. which surprised me. i usually have countless amounts of patience, and we weren't even in the rush point of lunch, it was all over and i was just cleanin up.. it's amazing how one woman can just ruin a perfectly alright day at work... so i leave work, and when i see the beautiful day awaiting me outside, i cheered up a bit, it was sunny and warm a bit windy but that made it even prettier outside.. you know the trees swayin.. well anyway.. then i pull into my driveway and am put promptly back into a bad mood. the russian guy apparently used the key that my mother was supposed to get back from him to let himself in.. he was supposed to go home today.. all i wanted to do was have some alone time in the house to walk around in my bra and a pair of shorts and play some music.. but no, he's here sleeping waiting for my mom to come home from work.. so what did i do? i went to see mom at work.. i had to check to see if he had her ok to be here.. i was like what the fuck he has to drive back to smithfield at some point anyway am i correct.. why the fuck didn't he just go.. and she shook her head just as clueless as me.. He is eventually gonna make her go crazy.. i told her he is just gonna initiate another one of his why can't we live together talks.. and piss her off.. i told her what she needed to do was look him straight in the eyes and say, you are making me crazy, no way in hell are we gonna live together, end of story, if you keep pushing this issue you will find every bit of your shit in the yard and the locks change.. as well as the phone number. she laughed and said that i was gonna have to show her how to do that.. since i'm the mean bitch in the family. i have no problem standing up to someone, and i seldom back down. i'm stubborn, and i can be down right mean. so i told her that she has perfected that whole "don't fuck with me look" she just doesn't realize it.. all mothers have it.. she is just damn good at it.. i mean really.. she could put the fear of god into us in a split second. she loves us and has always supported us, and we (meanin me, my sis, and mom) have a wonderful relationship. but as small children, she didn't play around.. when she meant something.. we knew it. man, i'm just babbling here.. what i was trying to say before is that i'm going to steal the key he has off of his key ring.. haha.. we'll just pretend that we have no idea what happened to it. man.. sorry for writing so much crap.. i've been at a loss for funny shit.. maybe something funny will happen soon.. please oh please.. hell maybe i'll just speed it along and get completely wasted and try to perform everyday tasks and see what happens... well i must go.. unfortunetly i don't have anything important to do.. so let's just pretend i do... 7:20 p.m. - 2003-02-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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