aura-chic's Diaryland Diary
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yep it's official i'm crazy...
well.. i do believe it's over with the cop....not sure...but whatever.. i'll live... sigh....i think that i have caught up on my sleep...my eyelids don't feel like sandpaper anymore. so that's a good sign.. i don't really have anything to update about.. other than the fact that i thought for a minute i had freaked invisibledon out.. the other day i read a bunch of entries... i had decided to work a bit, and needed something to take my mind off of it. but apparently no, i didn't freak him out, phew!! he was just curious.
i'm sitting here completely bored and feeling a little down.. nothing like fighting with someone (guess who) to bring you down a bit. I don't even know what i did. but i guess that's beside the point. i'll just have to wonder about it..and drive myself crazy just to come to the conclusion that this particular person is just being a shit for the day because they are pissed off at their life. but oh well right? i have bigger and better things to think about...ok not really, i just wanted to feel important. i spend a lot of time helping my friends and other people thru their problems and i really love doing this..it gives me a sense of purpose...because i've been thru times of stress and depression myself..but i realize that in doing that all the time i let my own problems go, so they sit there and fester and grow til i just don't know what to do...so then i have to spend ridiculous amounts of time thinking about them til i go crazy..but in the long run i do manage to fix em. so it's ok i guess... but i realize that in doing this with that certain person i have managed to miss a lot of things about myself...bad, very bad. i now realize that i can't help what happens..i can't make something right that i didn't do. it's not my responsibility to fix someone elses mistake. so i will stop doin that now. i have the responsibility to fix only MY mistakes..... and i won't let them slide from now on....but that doesn't mean that i won't be there for my friends anymore.... i still love helping and listening and offerin little tid bits of advice for things that i have learned thru the years. i do feel that i have a responsibility to help people avoid the mistakes i have made...or even to help them thru things that i have been thru myself. because lord knows i could have used some help. and i didn't really get it...but that's for another time...sheesh i wish i had something funnier to write about... sorry for depressin y'all....hmmmmmmm lets see...something funny...... well um, hey i did manage to fall asleep in my sunglasses yesterday...i came home from my sister's and just laid down fully dressed...shoes, coat, sweater, pants and yes my sunglasses...it was pretty funny cuz i woke up at night and i was like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa OMG i'm blind....haha...and then i was like ahhhhhhhhhhhh what's on my face??? yeah i was freakin out. then i realized that no i wasn't blind i was just a damn moron. and then my sister updates about this mouse in her silverware drawer...i can see her runnin away now...i wish i had stayed...that would have been too funny to witness.... a little mouse scarin a grown woman...haha....oh well.. oh and damn, i forgot to tell ya'll i took this personality test thing and it said i was moderately schizotypal....what the fuck?? the only reason it said that as it explained was because i answered yes to the question about do you feel like you can "sense someones presence" so i said yeah...which i can..i can tell if someone is around me, or is gonna show up....said something like i'm crazy cuz i feel like i have extrasensory shit..or something...what ever...most people can tell if someone they know is around... whatever....so i guess i'm crazy y'all...bullshit...i'm not crazy. when i say i can sense someones presence i don't mean dead people or like i'm psychic or anything.. i guess what i mean is certain people give off an energy type thing...and tho i can't see them yet, i know they are there...if that makes me crazy then ok..i'm crazy...but imma bring this entry to a close....toodles!!!!! :) hey look y'all, i'm an en-fooze-e-ist as crackhead would say!!
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6:05 p.m. - 2003-01-15
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