aura-chic's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- drama in the life of a commitment phobe oh lord...why do i always manage to get myself into such trouble....i always have the worst luck with everything...now mind you i had agreed to marry the little russian bastard only to keep him in the country. well then after two days he's goin on about lovin me and shit...and i get pissy when people i don't know say shit like that to me.....well anyway...the whole situation is over. no wedding no nothin. after today he goes back to his house and has agreed to never call me again...now keep in mind that it was all sweet and good that he wanted to tell me he loved me but the fact that he prompted the big guy to hit him yesterday by tellin him in russian not to interfere with him gettin his green card....looks like i was wrong in bein on his side...the big guy was only tryin to protect me and my mother...looks like i owe him an apology. which i will do face to face. i always honor things that i feel are my responsibility.....so here i am waiting for the little bastard to be able to go back to his house...as soon as the big guy moves out....i would hate to have the kids blood on my hands when the big one gets hold of him...if and when he does it will not be because of me. *HUGE SIGH* here... so now we see that the big guy isn't at fault here. and i feel bad because mom has now kicked big guy out, and he is the first guy in a long time that just wanted to take care of her. and i feel it is all my fault....and there is more....little guy told the the store managers that big guy stole lots of things...which is true...but now it has involved my mother....so she might be unemployed......i hope not.....little one says no she will not be in trouble...but we can never know. we will find out i suppose. but that's a whole other can of crap.......that i don't wish to open now.... any way alright crackhead i'll say it.....i just wanna fuck the cop...nothin else...and he's completely happy with that relationship, and so am i....but crackhead you know i will have to take a trip soon........curiousity is gettin the better of me...but you know exactly what i mean i hope....lol.... *sigh* i have no idea what to do now..... and the little russian bastard won't leave me the fuck alone.....i keep tellin him to go in the other room i've already told him that he is never to call me or come see me ever again, and blah blah blah...but he just doesn't get it....oh well he'll get the picture soon enough i hope. nothin like havin to type in secret in your own damn home......he keeps tryin to read over my shoulder and shit...... oh well i will write more later. maybe crackhead will think all this is funny......ttfn:) 11:22 a.m. - 2002-12-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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