aura-chic's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tools, karma, snow and work. Yes you are right in the definition of tool.. and his timing did suck. I was furious, livid, outraged, and hurt. I tried to hate him, but it's just not my style. Once upon a time it was. I have learned a great lesson through the years though, let time handle the people that have hurt you.(Not to be cheesy, but I love this quote "Time wounds all heels" - John Lennon, and yes he meant to say it that way) It may be an "instant karma" thing or it could wait years.. it always catches up with us. After thinking about what he did to me for a few years now, I've come to the conclusion that maybe I had to go through that. Maybe that was exactly what I needed to be strong for my mom at that time. To be there to help her, to not be distracted by my relationship with him. If that really is the case then I'm happy to have made that sacrifice. If not, well then I just feel gypped. In any case, I truly think he is unhappy in his life, not by what he says, but what he does, and how he looks. I once thought that seeing that would make me happy.. but it doesn't. I asked him a few months ago, why he did it. His reply was that he thought I would get tired of him because of our age difference, and he knew he couldn't give me what I wanted (children,he's been snipped) and that if we had been married and I left him he would have been heartbroken. Could be a load of shit, or it could be the truth. I take it for what it is, his reason. But still you are right, he is a tool for what he did, and what he is trying to do now. I'm now aware of the tool-like activities going on with him. :) We actually got a bit of snow here Friday night. I hate snow. Luckily most of it has melted now. Work sucked as usual last night... I'm sure it will suck again tonight, and the night after, and the night after that. I've been doing the same crappy job for 7 years now, well I did get a promotion about 4 1/2 years ago. I do the same thing with just more shit added on. That's all for now...I will do this again soon. 7:58 a.m. - 2010-02-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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