aura-chic's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I've finally found it.. and I have to let it go.. I have had the most amazing night of my life.. Or so far anyway.. everything is looking up for once. Time spent with someone you care a lot about can be so special.. at the risk of sounding corny. And staying in can be so much more fun than going out. I've been feeling somewhat out of my normal spirits lately. I think it has something to do with the admittance of feelings for this particular person. I have basically denied myself love, other than family and friends, mainly because of the way it complicates things and also the fear of getting hurt yet again. I know now that there is nothing I can do. I know he is leaving, and I will not be going with him, and I just have to enjoy the little time we have left together. I realized how deprived I've been lately. Whether it be lying in bed watching tv, talking, or lying in complete silence. We all need someone to share our life with. And as exhausted as I should be from not sleeping the last two nights, I find myself exhilarated. Even on the long drive home. I think that I may have turned mushy on you guys.. and for once.. it's ok... :D... I couldn't be happier about it, because I know as bad as it may get this has changed me for the better. It only took 3 years of friendship, and the last year of it "playing" to make us see things this way now. As much as I'd like to see it this way, I know that he had me from the first sentence he ever spoke to me. It just took me a while to admit to it. Well this has been my mushy update for the year... toodles... 5:27 a.m. - 2003-06-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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