aura-chic's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sigh ok. so i'm making a real entry. i couldn't update for a while apparently no one else could either.. but i had something to say.. and now i have nothing to say.. it always works out that way doesn't it? you want what you can't have.. maybe that sums up exactly what i am going through in my life at this point. i've never really been one of those people.. who only want something because they can't have it and then if they get it they no longer want it.. have you ever met anyone like that? i have.. they suck.. i think for them it's just the actual challenge to see if they can get it. it really sucks when it's another person that they are just using for their own personal amusement.. well anyway.. i broke my little sobriety spell.. i went two weeks tho.. without so much as a pill or a drink.. and then the shit hit the fan so to speak.. and i of course turned to my old crutches.. i guess i should just change the whole drugs are my crutch to reality is my crutch from drugs.. now, i don't mean that i got completely wasted. i only had two cups of coffee with some Bailey's Irish Cream in them.. and i took one pain killer so that i could sleep without thinking.. well that didn't turn out so great. oh well.. i tried.. i don't think that i have gone crazy.. i just think that i had some sort of melt down.. system overload or something.. adrenaline and hormones are bad.. LOL.. especially when mixed.. well i'm attempting to rid myself of pale skin! i think i have accomplished my goal.. 3 times in a tanning bed and i'm already nice and dark.. my skin feels great too!! YAY.. i'm telling you there is no better nap than a 20 minute power nap in a tanning bed.. ok well imma go now.. since i have satisfied my need to babble on about nothing at all... 9:16 p.m. - 2003-03-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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