aura-chic's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- stress. ugh. i am so truly sorry for what i wrote in my last entry, about my ex. if you missed it please read it. while it is funny, i just feel i have insulted the entire gay community by entering him into it. for this i am so so so sorry. but don't worry he doesn't have the balls enough to actually come out. he will be miserable for the rest of his life, and manage to make everyone else miserable too. and to clarify what i had said, most gay men i know do NOT hide naked in the bushes to attack their friends. well none of them do that, unless really drunk. just thought i would say that. my best friend is getting married. to one of my ex's. (not the one hiding in bushes) when the stupid one and i had broken up for about 5 months, i started seeing this guy, his name was red, he has really red hair!! well he was a great guy, and i just couldn't see getting him all fucked up in my problems, so i stopped seeing him, and by chance one night i was with my best friend and we ran into him. so i introduced him to her. and she then proceeded to see him behind my back. meaning, she didn't tell me. i could've handled it better if she had been upfront about it. now i really had liked this guy a lot, i ended it for his own good, not because i didn't want him anymore, oh on the contrary. but it kind of pissed me off at first to think my best friend was going behind my back and dating an ex of mine. i would never do that to her. mainly because all her boyfriends had been morons. so with that thought there, i softened and said to myself, at least i know he will be good to her. so i was the adult after the big argument, and called her apologized and wished her the best. all is well almost 2 years later. and i'm set to be a bridesmaid. this leads me to a dilemma. i have promised her that i will let my hair grow out longer, and to my natural color, or something calmer than i usually have. i like shorter, spunkier hair cuts and a bright red color. fits my personality. and another thing she wants the bridesmaids dresses to have either no straps, or spaghetti straps. hmmmmm, i will have to find a creative way to cover the huge butterfly on my damn shoulder. i knew i shouldn't have gotten that. will the choices i have made in life ever stop catching up to me? hell i could just either run down the aisle, or i could hide under the trane of the wedding dress. hmmm. what should i do? hide, definitely hide. maybe there is like some kind of awesome body makeup that i could smear all over it...hmmm with my luck it would be like 400 degrees where ever she has decided the wedding is gonna be, and i will have makeup running down my back and all over my pastel blue silk dress. ahhh. the joy of life. or i could just save up thousands of dollars to get it removed and have a big butterfly shaped SCAR on my back. that would look even tackier. you see this is what i mean. i can't win. well i certainly feel better. so i'll stop boring you now. (and myself) ttfn!!:) 6:47 a.m. - 2002-12-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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